Humor

When a non-scary Halloween story will suffice

Skeletons carrying coffinAs I started to sit down to write this post, I was trying to think of something scary to write about. Then it occurred to me the Wi-Fi wasn’t working and I immediately became petrified. Wouldn’t you know it? I want something scary to write about and then the universe drops the tale of the spotty Wi-Fi into my lap.

A record cropBut I’ve chosen to ignore this temporary nightmare in favor of the real scary things that are out there. The University of Louisville’s football team is wearing some scary-looking uniforms as they battle Florida State. Maybe they saved some money or they were just thinking about the best way to scare the Seminoles as the game began. I vote for ugly costume uniforms on Halloween eve as the key to victory for the Cardinals this evening.

Ghostly front yardThis week leading up to Halloween tomorrow has really seen some scary stuff locally. I went to pick up a pizza Tuesday night, actually a couple of pizzas, in one of my favorite pizza joints only to find out neither my wife nor myself managed to call the place to order them. So, I sat down after ordering them and checked my email, which is always scary.

“Did you see the game last night?” came a voice at the front counter.

The standing, smiling Bob“No,” I replied to the girl by the cash register. “We’ve been pretty busy and I guess we missed it. Which game are you talking about?”

Cowboys.”

“What happened?”

“They lost.”

“OMG.”

That was pretty scary if you’re a Cowboys fan (which I’m not).

Now hiringAnyway, we only ended up eating one pizza. They were medium-sized ones, so stop thinking we’re gluttons. That’s not only a scary thought, but an offensive one, too. The one we ate fresh was pretty good. But the one we ate the next night was scary good. We heated it up in the oven on the hot stone plate or whatever you call it. The crust was actually crisper, the way we prefer it, compared to the one we ate fresh the night before. Scary can be nice when you follow it with the word good. We ordered supreme pizzas which are loaded with everything and the crust can get soggy. But, as I said, the crust was way better the next night. Go figure.

BBQ Sid and Sun Tan DanKeeping it in a sports vein, the NBA season is underway and both the Lakers and Knicks stink. It should be scary to the game’s keepers, if only because the two biggest markets have to suffer with lousy teams. This can’t be good for the game. Scary for the league and ultimately scary for the fans.

Creepy leave manRecently, I was told more people die from the flu than Ebola. I find both equally scary. But my immune system has been through hell and back over the course of this lifetime, so I’m keeping my record streak of non-flu vaccinations up and running. I know everyone says I should get one. But it’s based on last year’s strain and I didn’t get that one, so I’m banking on not getting last year’s flu again this year. I know, it’s a scary way to live. As for Ebola, I just know it’s scary. But not as scary as the media would like to whip us into a frenzy over and have us believe.

TulowI think it’s scary how much candy adults eat the week leading up to Halloween. I walked past a couple of plastic pumpkins full of candy on Monday. They were empty Tuesday. They were full again Wednesday. Then they were empty again today. I suppose they will be full again for Halloween. But how do they dissipate so rapidly. Scary.

So now we come to the part of the show where we find out what else is scary. I don’t know about you, but it’s scary to me that Halloween is only one day. It should be more than one day. I’m thinking the 12 days of Halloween would be pretty cool. Each day would feature different candies we could give out. It would make Halloween less scary if we could spread it out over several days.

BridezillaAnd finally, before the Wi-Fi issues rear their scary ugly head again, I need to get this posted. Enjoy yourselves tomorrow and try not to get too scared. It’s only Halloween.

Bob & The GhoulsMuahahahahaha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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