Opinion

You can never have writer’s block as long as Donald Trump’s in the news

English: Melania Trump at the QVC Red Carpet S...

English: Melania Trump at the QVC Red Carpet Style Party, Four Seasons Hotel, Los Angeles, CA on February 25, 2011 – Photo by Glenn Francis of http://www.PacificProDigital.com (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The cursor kept blinking intermittently, mocking me and my inability to think of anything to write about. Sure, there’s always Trump, but who wants to read a whole article on Trump?

With all of its seeming complexity the world is really behaving collectively more simply than I can ever remember.

Outrage, and its various forms, is a word that should soon be extinct from overuse. Everyone expresses “outrage.”

“I was really outraged by what Trump said.”

“I am thoroughly outraged by what Hillary said.”

Give it five minutes and nobody will remember the thing they were outraged about because it will be replaced by something more newly outrageous, if that makes any sense.

We suffer from social medial pollution. Everyone tweets because they can. Everyone also expresses themselves politically on Facebook.

“It is absolutely disgusting what Trump just said.”

“Hillary should be in jail.”

“I am so sick of politics on social media. I’m boycotting political threads on Facebook (until I’m not).”

“I was going to not say anything more about how loathsome I find Trump, but I just had to chime in, especially, when everyone is rushing to Hillary’s defense.”

speaking at CPAC in Washington D.C. on Februar...

speaking at CPAC in Washington D.C. on February 10, 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“I wanted to stay off Twitter about Trump, but I just can’t help myself, I admit it.”

“If Trump had a shred of respect for women, he’d offer a more sincere apology about that recording from 11 years ago, so that’s why I had to get back on Facebook and let everyone know.”

Farting and Tweeting, Tweeting and Farting

Tweeting is like farting. You do it at least 18 times a day in order to maintain optimal health.

While farting 18 times a day may be really good for the old innards, Tweeting that often pretty much only shows you have far too much disposable time. You also can’t deny the fact that farts are more hilarious than tweets.

“Did you read Bob’s thoroughly hilarious tweet?”

“No, I did not, but that last fart he just cracked off was pretty freaking hilarious!”

I would suggest if we took a fraction of the energy it takes to produce a small percentage of tweets, and apply this energy to constructive action, it might make someone’s life easier.

What is constructive action?

Construction action is when we actually engage in behavior that makes someone’s life better who needs it. Tweeting is mostly evidence of the accelerated decline of our ability to think critically. The only thing we’re interested in mastering now is how to denigrate someone in witty fashion and in 140 characters or less. Hashtags of course, are optional: #where’smybrain?

Does what you think and post change anyone’s mind to your way of thinking?

Hardly ever. I say this because there are always exceptions to everything (except that the Cubs will break the curse—be very, very afraid of the goat, Bill Murray).

I think political tweets and rants are mostly therapeutic in nature. We’re venting and it feels good to say something, get it off our chest. This is especially so when we have no one to talk to at the time we’re headed off to Facebook or Twitter. So, we want the world to see something we say at the time we post it.

This is something I like to call, “Annoying someone in real time.”

Here are some tweets Trump can use if he likes:

“What I say is important.”

“Well, maybe what I say is only a little important.”

“I want to clarify how important what I say is.”

“Thank the heavens and the bottom of the sea for social media.”

“Without social media, no one would have benefit of my words of wisdom.”

“Social media validates who I am and what I say.”

“Can I get a hashtag in my honor?”

“Who should I vote for?”

“Can I vote for myself?”

“I’m not narcissistic. It’s just really important for people to write something about me.”

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