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Throwing up for success and notoriety

An endoscopy of a normal stomach of a healthy ...

An endoscopy of a normal stomach of a healthy 65-year-old woman. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Everyone is trying to get noticed, so much like the Seinfeld episode where George ends up doing (and saying) the exact opposite of what he is initially inclined to do and yields fantastic results, I will write this with the intention of no one, absolutely nobody I tell ya, reading this.

If we all had a dime or even a nickel for every time we read or watched how to make our businesses prosperous via social media and online marketing, not a one of us would ever need to advertise via social media, let alone any marketing medium, ever again.

We are a society of lemmings. We think as a group, for better or worse, since the global economy has come into existence. We scream about unfair business practices, privacy protection and security breaches pretty consistently and non-stop. We are at a loss as to how to concretely address any of these concerns, so we do the next best, easiest thing: bitch and moan to high heaven about it until someone, or something else comes along and takes up temporary residence in our short attention spans.

Español: Logo Vectorial de YouTube

Español: Logo Vectorial de YouTube (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I ignore most of this insanity whenever I can. I like to start my browsing sessions with a blank page so as to just go where I feel like going, rather than being influenced by the likes of mainstream media news sites or entertainment sites posing as news sites don’t unnecessarily influence my web surfing sessions. Yes, I know, nobody “surfs” the web anymore, but I do, as I need to ignore things like how best to get my video to go viral on YouTube. Generally-speaking, it’s best to stay just a notch below what’s cutting edge on the Internet as well as with the technology one uses so as to let others work through the time-consuming bugs and problems of the latest and greatest “news,” software and hardware out there; I thank ye uncompensated, mass beta testers the world over.

Stomach diagram in Inkscape.

Stomach diagram in Inkscape. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I read about the ten things successful people do before 4 a.m. and throw up. That is not the reaction the authors of such articles intended, but I feel instead of doing what the articles suggest, I instead do something completely different, if not the opposite of what the writers instruct. Perhaps one of the things we are supposed to do is to drink tea so as not to have an upset stomach. I just cut to the chase and hurl so my stomach, while throwing up is upset, once I have finished heaving I have achieved the goal of a calm stomach to start the day. I feel I have the same chance of being successful with this technique for a calm, ready-to-be-productive stomach as the next person who does it exactly as the article specifies.

We have become watchers and followers, unable to determine our best courses of action for ourselves. Perhaps that is at the root of what has gone wrong: we have long since stopped being able to determine what’s right for us because we are told by experts what it is we should be doing, how it is we should be living and why we should be making the choices we need to.

George Costanza

George Costanza (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While doing the opposite of what everyone else does may be a ridiculous notion, I at least like that by choosing this method of living we have a chance for an outcome that could be successful, if only because our luck might change for the better than by doing what it is everyone else is already doing, and failing at it miserably, I might add.

Before the Internet, generations of people would toil in obscurity their entire lives, not getting noticed even in death. While births and deaths are captured still easily in the electronic, digital (poor word choice; I envision rubber gloves, proctologist visits, ‘nuff said) age, we would never know it as sadly, people being born and dying are hardly newsworthy these days. People have involuntarily adopted a stance of acceptance for all things being as they are. We have somehow lost our ability to question things along the way. Maybe it’s because we are more easily satisfied than ever before (as we complain incessantly about the most mundane things).

English: Miley Cyrus singing in concert

English: Miley Cyrus singing in concert (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We might not eat right regularly, for instance, but if we have a smart (hate that name) phone, the fact we are nutrient-deficient takes a back seat to our ability to check the latest Miley escape or sext with a newfound interest. It is going to be pretty difficult to become “successful” engaging in these activities. No amount of advice from successful “influencers” is going to change that.

Okay, I think I know where I’m going with this. What we are looking for globally is the latest distraction. We tend to talk about things we have in common when we dine out with friends. Not-worthy-of-our time current events and pop culture have replaced what it is we have in common and share; this used to be what we could talk about.

Distractions aren’t so bad, I suppose. They only become a problem when they impede our ability to fulfill our obligations. Being aware of the latest popular distractions will have you in the majority but they could come back to haunt you when you forget to schedule important things on your dumb phone’s calendar.

Stomach

Stomach (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Of course I saw that, but get the eff out! You mean I have to take an Anatomy final today, too? My stomach is full and I want to take a nap instead.”

I think I’m gonna throw up.

 

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