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The random road to fruition

English: Actor, entrepreneur Suzanne Somers

English: Actor, entrepreneur Suzanne Somers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can Vermont cheddar be from any place other than Vermont?

Do you still get the paper? If you are someone who lives with ordered clutter, do you keep the newspaper open and sprawled out over the side of the kitchen table you sit at for days on end? If you live alone, you can leave stuff anywhere until you get home. But, if you share living quarters, how long are your piles reasonably tolerated in the common living area spaces you leave them?

Is it just me or did the new Yahoo email get faster today? I searched for something to see if it actually would come up (last time I tried this it did not). It presented me a search results field in just like, wait for it, two seconds. That is soo good. Way to go Yahoo email. Now if you can work on all the other speed issues that exist when you try composing new emails or clicking on mail folders. Rome wasn’t built in a day, I guess, so I’ll be patient and at least pleased with the new search speeds.

One of the most underrated uses of smart phones is in waiting rooms at doctors’ offices. I can barely remember reading magazines there in the old days.

Something happened in Washington, D.C. today. Something to do with being able to borrow more money so we can spend more money that we do not have in the first place on things we never needed to begin with. But at least government will be functioning again.

Shampooing your hair every day is not good for it. I was told that today. I’m just glad to have some hair I can wash every now and then.

The handprints of Suzanne Somers in front of T...

The handprints of Suzanne Somers in front of The Great Movie Ride at Walt Disney World’s Disney’s Hollywood Studios theme park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Suzanne Somers says she has sex multiple times per day. Suzanne was sharing long before there was social media.

Facebook and Google have come out with new privacy settings and experts everywhere are telling us what we need to do to preserve our privacy. Um…get off of Facebook and Google+? Seeing articles on this is really annoying, especially when we are urged to click on this or that and select this or that and then reach under your armpit and scratch the back of your shoulder and then put something longwinded in your status that promises to bring you bad luck for the rest of your life if you don’t do so and then challenge yourself to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up in the morning at the same time and then never, ever have another soda the rest of your life or get an incurable disease and die from it and then ask all your other Facebook friends to do the same things or consequently be looked upon as a bad person who has no privacy whatsoever.

Is Florence, Italy capable of producing fine salami or is Genoa our only choice?

Phew…haven’t heard anyone say they made Xeroxes in quite some time. Makin’ Xeroxes…the Xerox meister. Xeroxorama!

Hard macro, Micro soft.

The latest Java update makes my old Win 7 box feel pretty snappy. No surprise there. I’m more snappy myself after my latest morning java.

I motion to change the word painkiller to painnumber. After all, if the pain was killed it’d be dead. All that usually happens for someone who takes prescribed pain pill doses is their pain is numbed, not killed.

Can’t elope and cantaloupe are most definitely two different things.

Yankee Stadium  from 9 W 57th Street 48th Floor

Yankee Stadium from 9 W 57th Street 48th Floor (Photo credit: urban_lisa)

The Red Sox beards look dumb. Is that spoken like a Yankees fan or what? But I just saw Brian Wilson of the Dodgers and I thought he looked dumb, too. The older I get the more maintenance-free I am compelled to become. All that growing and trimming is work compared to keeping it short in the first place.

Now that I’m almost halfway through my last semester at school, I can say with full certainty that you really can thrive and prosper on a mostly peanut butter sandwich and pizza diet. I think I’ve been getting all the food groups. In fact, I want to say pizza and peanut butter constitute brain food. Throw in a banana or two every so often and I’m as healthy as any college student is.

facebook

And now for some Facebook statuses I’d like to see…

My handyman’s chief assistant told me he fed his pug a deep fried chicken breast and she wanted another; he had one himself.

I’ve enjoyed reading about your vacations, your kids’ graduations, your job promotions and your wife’s 401ks, I mean 10K. But if you really care about me, you’ll put this on your status for at least one hour. That way I’ll know you’re really my friend.

Be kind to the people you meet on the way up, because they’re gonna be the same people you meet on the way down. – Ralph Kramden

I just hit my six-day anniversary at my company! I can’t believe how quickly time flies!

I’d rather use a pencil over a pen any day because I can sharpen it.

Life’s too short to surround yourself with people who drain your energy. Make friends with people who drink Red Bull!

My calendar, along with my fingers and toes, helps me mark the passage of time.

My favorite statuses involve ones with politicians in them.

Would you like smoking or naan?

Alex Rodriguez in a game on 5/26/08

Alex Rodriguez in a game on 5/26/08 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The signing of Alex Rodriguez by the Yankees was not a mistake; it was a learning tool. They learned he was a tool too late, too. Say that three times fast.

I wanted to impress myself first thing today, so I decided not to have coffee, not eat anything and just start my day and see how long I could go until I passed out.

The quality of my life rises in proportion to the number of texts I send and receive in any given hour of the day.

Here are some pictures of me cutting my fingernails on the back porch so I can type faster. Enjoy!

If Hemingway said write drunk and edit sober he may have taken the fun out of it for readers.

Please like my “I collect used envelopes” page. This is a worthy cause so please share; we are reuniting many orphaned envelopes with their letter family members. Did I mention you should feel free to share?!

Computer cleaning dusters are dangerous to inh...

Computer cleaning dusters are dangerous to inhale, because the gases expand and cool rapidly upon being sprayed. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Please like my “Canned air” page. It is the only page on Facebook devoted to the artful uses of canned air.

Sometimes life can be so hard. You keep the people close to you who lift your spirits and furlough the government workers who are going back to work, from your circle of friends. Just when I might get really down, someone likes either my canned air or used envelopes pages and it gives me a boost. Thanks y’all.

Contractions get a bad rap sometimes. Can’t say I know why. When’s the critique coming? Why’s the party not at your place? Won’t you please shut the front door?

The End.

(See how I tied everything together? No? Well, neither do I. Goodnight.)

***

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