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How I spent my Apocalypse Eve

Birdie knows the world isn't ending

When I logged in to Facebook briefly this evening I noticed they now have a little widget for privacy shortcuts. The term something something Facebook and privacy are not two words that should be used in the same sentence, comes to mind.

I thought it was appropriate, though, as I was feeling somewhat melancholy that the world wasn’t going to end. I mean, I find out Australia and places like that made it to December 21st just fine, so I might as well take down my dumb Mayan calendar countdown. I hope I remember to do so. Plus, the dog just looked at me after I let her in like, “Forget about the end of the world. Have my breakfast ready for me tomorrow on time.”

Although not as crazy of course with the buildup in comparison to 1999, it was fun playing along while it lasted. Most of us recognize the Mayans were not predicting the end of the world, but the end of a cycle, I think, was more like it. I’m not sure I ever placed much credence in anything the Mayans did in terms of their cycle proficiencies. I’m on an end of the world cycle still, at least until I finish this. It was just some fun we were all having, kind of thinking what we would all do if the world were really ending, and personally, I’d probably just try to get out one more blog if I knew the world was going to really end. I mean, c’mon man, go out blogging I say!

The whole Facebook and privacy thing was somewhat apocalyptic in that it was the last thing I thought I’d ever be coaxed to click on after logging in earlier.

If you click on a link that purports to help you with your Facebook privacy settings, it should immediately take you to an account deactivation screen. That is ultimate Facebook privacy policy concern allaying if you ask me. How much more private can your Facebook account be if you don’t actually have one, right?

Gorilla zombie just hangin' out on the corner

Nineteen ninety-nine was a lot more thrilling to me. Arnold Schwarzenegger was promoting and hyping his brilliantly awful movie, “End of Days.” At work I was on a committee that went in to work on New Year’s Day 2000 to make sure all the computer systems were working properly. People didn’t know what to expect, and depending on what you were reading, watching or listening to, you might have been expecting that ATMs were not going to work, that you’d be off the grid because the electricity might go out as the utility company computers would not function with the year date change to 2000, or your dog or cat might suddenly start speaking the English language to you, or even more spectacularly, your Pepto-Bismol would stop being effective for your common diarrhea.

None of the above scenarios actually transpired other than I did go in to work and everything of course worked just fine computer-wise. Companies had spent millions of dollars preparing and patching their systems so everything would work once 1999 rolled over to 2000.

I’m thinking one thing that might come from getting all Mayanesque this evening and tomorrow, is that we could see a baby explosion nine months from now. No, babies won’t explode in nine months; there just might be an increase in the baby population. How many guys are looking for end of the world copulation right now? This is not a rhetorical question and I can answer with certainty that it’s probably the same number that is looking for run of the mill copulation right now. But how many will use the end of the world angle as they are seeking it? That is a rhetorical question.

Who would have thought the day before the world ended would be when Facebook would become sincere about our privacy? Bahahahahaha! That’s a good one!

Apocalyptic Sunset...not!

December 21, 2012…the day the world didn’t end and Facebook supposedly started seriously caring about our privacy by throwing us the widget bone.

I said widget bone.

Widget bone, widget bone, widget bone.

That’s just wrone.

Hey, that rhymed.

Say goodnight, Bob.

Goodnight Bob.

 

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