Opinion

4 reasons beer is better than politicians

English: American Artist Marie Beer

English: American Artist Marie Beer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My Facebook feed is a mess.

So is my LinkedIn feed

And my Twitter feed isn’t that much better.

I would suggest politicians are to blame.

Politics and more significantly, politicians, have taken over all the sound bites, story lines, streams, pictures, graphics, announcements, blurbs, blogs, monologues and one liners. It’s a bloody shame, I say.

We get too excited about politicians. Think about that statement. Should we really allow them to guide our passions, be the motivation behind our action or even the root of our displeasure in daily life?

I say, heck no, we should never, ever let that happen. It’s the checks and balances of government and life that take care of politicians each and every time. No one is above the law, and those very laws, combined with the power and will of the people, are always the very things that keep politicians in line, bringing down entirely those that would act with malice and corruption towards others.

I’ve thought long and hard after making laundry great again recently. I had a beer after grappling with the dryer repair that provided personal evidence of the potential for American ingenuity. While I enjoyed it, it came to me what one of the biggest nuisances I have control over is: politicians’ encroachment on my life.

I didn’t turn on the news after making laundry great again.

I didn’t consult my Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter feeds for satisfaction.

No, what I did was have a beer.

the-banquet-beer

I give to you now four reasons, and without much particular deliberation, either, over order of importance, why beer is better than politicians:

#1 Beer doesn’t judge

No matter your political leanings, beer is always there for you at the end of a long, hard day at work or on an evening out with friends. Beer does occasionally stare you down in the form of tap handles peering out behind bar tops. But, it does so innocuously. It’s not judging whether you’re a bad person, idiot, inept or just plain a fool, for your way of thinking. It only wants you to consider enjoying its cool, calm, unflinching goodness. This value is not something a politician is capable of delivering.

#2 Beer is not an attention whore

Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!” This is screamed by politicians left and right. It’s painful to look at most politicians. Let’s face it, when people are verbally blustering it isn’t very attractive at all. Additionally, without our noticing, the majority of politicians would just fade away. They require us to notice them in order to remain in their jobs. Beer does no such thing. It simply understands it looks really good—all the time. It doesn’t need sleep to look good, either. And most importantly, it never has to beg for our attention.

#3 Beer doesn’t need your vote

Sure, while there are contests where beer drinkers can vote on a favorite Lager, IPA, APA, Stout, Porter, etc. at any number of festivals, it isn’t required in order to enjoy one. Politicians need your vote to get elected. They’re not politicians until we actually elect them. Before they are elected they are sometimes called lobbyists. These wannabe politicians most closely resemble Lite Beer—not fully the real deal and all so much less satisfying.

#4 Beer doesn’t make speeches nor does it use catch phrases

Read my lips. No new taxes. There you go again. Evil doers. I am not a crook. Drain the swamp. The closest to anything that beer helps drain is the bladders of those who consume it. If you could read my lips when I’m drinking a beer, you’d see they were saying, “Mmm.” Beer doesn’t say anything with words and that’s one of the great things about it. Because it doesn’t need words there is no requirement to say anything as embarrassing as, “I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.”

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