Opinion

Smiling: the next best thing to laughter

What if date night consisted of eating mostly dates with your significant other? If date night is nothing more than a little long overdue together time out somewhere at a restaurant or movie, it does little to compare with the relationship benefits of synchronized date consumption.

Furthermore, if the happy couple can enjoy a few laughs afterwards due to their individual bouts of date-prompted flatulence, so much the better.

I’d like to take a survey about surveys. Nah, who am I kidding. I loathe surveys, especially those related to products or businesses I patronize. It would be refreshing to just make a purchase and not receive an email solicitation. Period.

Louisville, Kentucky, ca. 1910

Louisville, Kentucky, ca. 1910 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Surveys are only surpassed in their time-wasting merits by political polls. If you don’t know how to provide a good customer service experience or product, then maybe you shouldn’t be in business in the first place. Surveys, like polls, are tainted by bias. We humans have a big issue with objectivity.

I’ve lived in Boulder, CO and Louisville, KY. And the winner for most evolved Party Town is Louisville. The U of L Cards destroy FSU and not one, single couch is burned afterwards. Yes, fireworks can be heard year round in the ‘Ville, but that is the extent of celebratory pyrotechnics. People party well, love their team and still wake up and take care of business the next day.

Computer running slow? Max out your memory for the biggest performance boost. There’s your free Sunday geek tip. Memory is like money and good looks in that you can never have enough. But when it comes to memory in humans, especially with players in the NFL who’ve had a bad game, it’s better to have a short one.

If you can’t do something correctly, it’s often the best way of getting out of doing it anymore in the future. Case in point, my wife neglected to put the top on the coffee urn this morning when making coffee. This caused the coffee to come out a little weak and with a few bumps and ground grinds.

Our old coffeemaker needs the lid to keep the coffee from rushing into the pot instead of dripping slowly. I usually make the coffee the night before, but didn’t last night.

“That’s why it’s your job, Bob.”

In a professional setting, this kind of scenario may prevent you from ever getting promoted.

English: Brook Street, Old Louisville, KY

English: Brook Street, Old Louisville, KY (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“We let Bob keep performing menial tasks because he has proven to be able to do them well over great swaths of time. Bob is a valued member of the team and a consistent performer.”

Career development opportunities for next review period: Continue performing at consistent, high levels.

I watched for years and years as people who were just miserable in certain roles received promotions to other roles they seemingly were not qualified for. Did they know someone? Or was it just a case of failure being rewarded?

I’ve witnessed individuals not having success in certain roles. Instead of being mentored or given a chance to improve, they’re transferred to another department, only to suffer the same fate. Eventually, this behavior is rewarded with a supervisory role of some kind. It’s confounding but it happens.

My dog does not swear by chiropractors and neither do I.

The iPhone 7 is causing me to be very, very excited. Nah, I’m just messing with you.

I really find mowing the lawn relaxing. Nah, I’m just messing with you again.

Doing chores builds character. I suppose that’s why some people think I’m so funny.

On any given Sunday, I can snatch a defeatist blog from the jaws of victory.

And finally, on the political front…

Trump said something.

Hillary said it was outrageous.

Trump said something negative back at Hillary.

And Hillary said it was evidence he is unfit.

Then Trump said she is a liar.

And Hillary accused him of being really unfit.

Then I said this is the greatest evidence yet that Social Media, like Bud Light, should be consumed in moderation.

Aren’t you glad you have hittingthesweetspot by Bob Skelley?

Are you smirking? Are you tight-lipped? Did you just feel the remnants of another date consumed on “Date night?”

The thought just made me smile.

Advertisements

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s