Opinion

The pre-Christmas, jingle jangle ramble fumblerooski

Ed. Note: This article’s significance would have been huge if Windows ever got out of its way so I could type it.

Guess it’s time to start shopping for the holidays. You know you have to. You’ve waited and procrastinated all you can and still think you have oodles of time to get gifts for loved ones and friends. But you don’t have that much time left.

Speaking of time left, if John Fox and the Bears lose to the Browns on Sunday, it’s no longer a foregone conclusion he won’t be back next season. It’s beyond a foregone conclusion.

Can’t believe how many tickets are still available on Stub Hub for this game. First off, the Bears are the favorites in this matchup. Bears haven’t been favored to win many games all season. The Browns are looking for their first victory. It’s supposed to be a high of 24 degrees with snow. Classic frozen tundra game at Soldier Field. But some Chicagoans will stay home and watch on TV as it’s too cold and snowy. Strange and laced with sacrilege—watching TV instead of being able to drink beer cold down to the bottom of the can and see your breath.

I hear Santa is going to be there, so there is still hope for a sell-out and an all-out rally to protect Fox’s job security. Santa has his choice of games to attend, but he’s picked the Bears. In Trubisky Santa trusts.

Speaking of trust, it’s probably a good idea not to ever trust Microsoft completely. While I love Office and use MS Word religiously, my initial hope that Windows 10 would not slow down like all previous versions of Windows, is officially a hope no mo’.

Some of it is my fault of course. I try to have Apple software like iTunes cohabitate with Windows, but it never seems to work. Apple software slows down Windows and Microsoft software slows down Apple hardware. It’s a dirty little secret that’s not so secret.

Even though Apple recently admitted hardware like certain iPhone versions slow down over time due to inefficient and old batteries, its Macs also slow down with each ensuing version of its operating system that challenges less than new Macs to keep up.

Windows actually does “warm up” to decent speed, but as I sat down to write, there was an iTunes update that needed me to restart Windows in order to complete the update. Drag.

Then once the PC restarted and the desktop came fully up (seemed like half a day later), I was finally able to get into MS Word to open a new file. When I tried saving to the cloud I received the dreaded “Not responding” message as Word was struggling, thinking how it was going to finally execute saving the document and letting me continue writing.

I thought I had an idea of what I would write about: How and why many of us wait until the last minute to do holiday shopping.

But, now that I’m finally able to type at full speed, shopping, which I loathe, seems a stupid thing to write about.

I love the ease of formatting in Word compared to anything else Apple ever had or that exists in the Linux world. Linux does impress as the system which stays faster longer than any of its commercial competition headquartered in Cupertino and Redmond.

Now that we’ve gotten this far and you’re still avoiding doing your holiday shopping, hoping there’s more, and of course, there is, I need to let you know some more stuff that may not be as important by the time you actually read it.

Don’t read any articles about great last-minute gift ideas. They’re all a bunch of rubbish, if not full-blown crap. Really, if you’re feeling rushed because you’re up against the deadline, just get a nice card and write a sentiment inside somewhere along the lines of, “Your (their) gift will be coming a little late.”

I think, like John Fox and his head coaching job, if I was the guy who was going to get his gift late, I’d still appreciate it, maybe even more, than if it would have been on time.

As they say, it’s the thought that counts.

And maybe, who knows, each of us may be solicited to take a survey for compensation of the legal tender variety, sometime before the end of the year (so we can pay down our mounting credit card debt).

If nothing else, perhaps we can have a winter yard sale to help pay off those bills come January.

These days, value add is all relative and at hittingthesweetspot by Bob Skelley, your mileage may vary in this regard. But just repeat after me and you’ll be able to live with yourself easier as you’re putting on your own holiday version of the freshman fifteen: “This has not been a total waste of time.”

Ho ho ho.

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