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Time travel, superpowers enliven Black Friday

DJ industrial average 1929 Black Friday

DJ industrial average 1929 Black Friday (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is it just me, or is Thanksgiving sneaking up on us way too fast?

I know I’ve been inundated with Black Friday offers.

I just read that sentence back to myself and wondered aloud whether visitors from another galaxy would ever understand the concept of Black Friday.

We are always in search of sales—they are going on all the time.

I know most guys, aside from gadget seekers not wanting to wait until after holiday January sales, will take advantage of some sale items, it surely does seem like a waste of energy.

Will we be talking about the things we buy on Black Friday five years from now?

Probably not, unless we buy something on Black Friday five years from now that takes the place of this year’s Black Friday purchase.

Visitors from another galaxy would understand Black Holes far better than Black Fridays.

If visitors from another galaxy actually want something, I am quite sure they are able to just go and obtain it—probably through some beyond human, advanced technology we still could never dream of.

I always thought telekinesis would be a great superpower to have—provided it wasn’t like Stephen King’s Carrie extracting revenge on all her high school tormenters. I know there is a time and place to make things fly around indiscriminately without touching them, but I would prefer a little more benevolence on the part of the person with said telekinetic powers.

That would always be a great conversation starter at cocktail parties…

If you could have just one superpower, what would it be?

I found during the course of asking this question at various times to strangers I’d meet at social events over the years, most would prefer to be able to fly.

I know I am thinking of flying right now–flying up the stairs and going to bed. But I’ve got a blog post to finish.

Seriously, the ability to actually be able to take flight ourselves and soar through the skies sounds like a superpower I would like to have now. Sitting in traffic or standing in line waiting to be patted down at the airport doesn’t hold a candle to jumping in front of the line via the flying superpower and getting to point B from A in just minutes.

Black Hole Outburst in Spiral Galaxy M83 (NASA...

Black Hole Outburst in Spiral Galaxy M83 (NASA, Chandra, Hubble, 04/30/12) (Photo credit: NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center)

At the three quarters mark, I have so far covered Black Fridays, Black Holes, and the preferred superpowers of benevolent telekinesis and flying, in today’s hittingthesweetspot by Bob Skelley.

My imagination craves more superpower possibilities, so what about being the fastest human being on the planet a la the superheroes “The Flash” or “Superman?” How cool would it be to run around at hyper warp speed a la matinee vampires and werewolves? I’d make you dizzy literally running circles around you.

This column brings so much to the table it becomes more and more like a Black Friday sale in a galactic Black Hole. I suppose you could say I’m getting the word out so you won’t miss out.

There is always something on sale here figuratively speaking for you to consume. In addition to the superpower ruminations, I ask you if you could crank up the Time Machine and go back in time, what time would you go back to and why?

Some people I’ve asked this question to have wanted to go back to the time of Jesus’ life. They wanted to be able to be around him when everything he was doing in his life was going on. I thought that might be a good use of the Time Machine.

Others wanted to go back to the days of the Roman Empire and experience lavish, empirical opulence in all its grandeur. Once again, this is another, pretty good use of the Time Machine.

Personally, I’d like to go back to the time of the first Black Friday sale (circa 1961 according to Wikipedia) using my speed running superpowers, circling the earth repeatedly, traversing Black Holes a la Superman going back in time altering the earth’s axis, jettisoning pollutants into harmless nothings via telekinesis and thereby averting the Cuban Missile Crisis, before safely flying back home like a cheeky vampire, just in time for this year’s Thanksgiving.

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5 replies »

  1. Bob What a surprise!
    My name is Waywardspirit. Remember me? We met before…At a tennis match…Nice to see you here. Cheers
    (Fill in your own blanks)

    Great party isn’t it?

    What are you drinking?

    What is your super power? (Note to self: Asking IF he has a super power,then what would it be, is passe. It’s now assumed everyone has at least one.)

    How far along are you in developing it?

    Super!

    It’s been nice seeing you here. Look forward to meeting you again. Tata

    Like

    • Evan Williams neat with a Stella Artois back would suit me just fine–bourbon and lager beer have inspired many a scribe. One of my superpowers is observation…I observe far more than the average looky-louie and by observing I can better comment on that which goes on around me. Action is sometimes overrated. Cheers to you.

      Like

      • Good call.
        That is one of the best super powers!
        Though Joss Weadon took four seasons to let the audience know that all along the humble non-super Zander was actually supering up the other supers by seeing their true nature and telling them about it. he could see observe and believe.
        Joss let him be tortured for half the show by no one noticing this about him. Then evil had to to it. Evil professional super power thief looked around the group of supers for which super power was most valuable to hijack. His gift was it. That’s how everyone found out.
        It’s good that you know what kind of things you observe and what you do with them. : )

        Oh well you got me started….

        I got a post due. Tata Super BS!

        Like

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