Travelin' Times

As we hit the 24 hr. mark prior to departing in (let the daredevils get “on”, I get “in”, as George Carlin used to say) our plane, the thrill of being able to get your boarding pass kicks in for me.
It’s an exciting time. Your flight is really happening and you will actually be departing for your remote destination in less than 24 hrs. You frantically or systemically make sure you have everything you need packed in your carry on. Who wants to check bags if they don’t have to, even if old bags can occasionally fly free on certain airlines?
But I digress…
The mobile boarding pass is a thing of beauty. It is to air travel what peanut butter is to celery–tasteful and convenient for those times when you don’t have access to a printer and there’s nothing else left to consume in the fridge save for the aforementioned celery and peanut butter.
I think it’s a win-win for both the airlines and airport security, too. Security agents get to use their high-tech scanner on either your iPhone or Android as you proceed through pre-boarding checkpoints. You only need to make sure you have enough “juice” in your phone to display the mobile boarding pass when the time comes–I understand this isn’t always a given for some folks who use their phones a lot, but with recharging areas readily available in most airports you shouldn’t run into this problem too often.
As I have my mobile boarding pass neatly accounted for, I often wonder at the ironies it makes me consider. We are using 21^st century technology in conjunction with a 20^th century mode of transportation. I know, I know. If you think it’s so antiquated, Bob, why don’t you just try walking to wherever you need to go. I get it, but air travel, even with the wonders of the mobile boarding pass, is just not as fun or pleasurable as it used to be. I long for the days of the rubber chicken, and…
If you’d like an adult beverage, they take only credit cards, your cash is no good here, and at least that’s what I’ve found to be the case. If you’ve been rushed prior to boarding and weren’t able to either bring something with you on the plane, or better, stop and grab a bite beforehand, enjoy the precipitous drop in blood sugar levels as your hunger kicks in. And the plane seats are made for 19^th century folks: if you’re a medium to larger-sized person, good luck with “sitting back and enjoying the flight!” I know you can sometimes opt to pay an additional amount of dollars for a seat with extended leg room, but please, just build in adequate leg room for ALL the seats. We put a man on the moon, we can make it so our knees don’t get cracked when the guy in front of us decides to recline, sit back and enjoy the flight!
All in all, I’m grateful some airlines are still in business for our flying needs. There’s not much room for whining about the inconveniences, but I do anyway. As Louis CK says, “You’re sitting on a chair in the sky!” Guess if you look at it that way, it’s still one of our relatively awesome, modern day miracles.
So I have my mobile boarding pass and begin the countdown to departure. Wouldn’t it be grand if I were teleporting instead of taking a plane? It seems so much more appropriate and consistent with the mobile technology. I guess I can dream. Until next time, friends, happy, safe journeys.

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