Bring back the vacuuming test!

English: A woman vacuuming in a bank in Helsin...

English: A woman vacuuming in a bank in Helsinki, Finland Suomi: Nainen imuroimassa eräässä pankissa Helsingissä (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Vacuuming, and how one does it, says a lot about a person.

Great vacuumers are rarely born.

Most are made.

The good news is you can be trained to be a good vacuumer.

But you really should just be one and not have to be taught.

Your vacuuming skills can be honed, mind you, and that’s fine, but to not have any vacuuming skills, may suggest a lack of attention to detail.

If you are an employer looking to hire the right candidate, one way to be certain you do so, is to give all applicants a vacuuming test.

There is no call for such a test you say? You may be thinking I have not had adequate coffee infusions this morning to suggest such a preposterous thing.

I throw caution to the wind and say bring back the vacuuming test!

Oh wait.

This implies the vacuuming test was once utilized.

Well, I am thinking at one time it may have been given. Let’s say you were applying for work with a professional cleaning service or company. In theory, you could have been given a vacuuming test as part of the initial screening.

I was trained early on in the principles of proper vacuuming.

My mother would leave for work, but not before occasionally assigning vacuuming chores to moi (I’m not French, I just like to type “moi” every once in awhile—looks cool).

Mom could always tell if I was lazy, lackluster or had not done it at all, though.

Rather than risk her ire and have her call me on it, I just did a thorough job. I also learned a valuable lesson that has paid dividends in terms of my professional life, too. That is, do something well (on a job or otherwise) if so only your boss, supervisor or manager, will stay off your back. You can take pride in your work, too, of course, if you are self-motivated, but enjoying the freedom to work independently because your boss knows he or she can count on you every time, is a beautiful thing.

Vacuuming is rare, deep and inner beauty personified.

Maybe you have hardwood floors and have read this far out of curiosity—I commend you! On a practical level, this story may seem to have no merit for you. But I’m thinking even though you have hardwood floors, at one time, you were a fine vacuumer in your previous lives in former dwellings with shag or indoor/outdoor carpeting.

But getting back to vacuuming as art…

Starting with a fresh bag (if you have one of the models of vacuum cleaner that has them) makes the entire experience sublime.

You are starting fresh! Like spring! Beginning anew! All things debris, pollen, mold, dirt and soil to be consumed by your golden cleaning machine from the gawds!

So run the vacuum over your carpeting. Back and forth…back and forth…back and forth.

Feel the power as the beater bar churns the pile to dreamy-cushy and plump deliciousness. You will soon have the benefit of being able to lie down and across your plush labor of love.

A good vacuuming job is a demonstration of one’s attention to detail.

If you are simply running the vacuum over carpeted areas just one time, not pausing to get at the corners, the harder to get regions, you are displaying to anyone with a keen eye who sees your work afterwards, that you are a corner cutter.

Corner cutters are bad.

Corner cutters are not welcome in professional organizations.

A corner cutter may sneak their way past an initial interview screening process, but should they be lucky enough to actually land the job, their corner cutting will most likely be found out soon thereafter.

So, stay motivated, be hungry, vacuum as you would love, and do it well.

For corner cutting in both your personal and professional life, is grounds for disciplinary action up to and including, dismissal.

Vacuum like no one is watching, but always remember someone important might be.


4 replies »

  1. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m a “corner cutter.” I never liked vacuuming much. Fortunately, two thirds of my house is made up of wood floors which only leaves me with the bedrooms. Great post! My favorite line was, “Feel the power as the beater bar churns the pile to dreamy-cushy and plump deliciousness.”


    • I think there are a lot of closet corner cutters, Anka, so don’t feel bad. Like a lot of things, vacuuming can sometimes have a lot to do with who you know. If you know the right people, for instance, are engaging and articulate, you may be able to get away with cutting corners occasionally. Another rarely remembered use of the vacuum is that it was the original elliptical machine. 😉 Appreciate the great comments and kind words, Anka, and hope you’ll visit again.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s