Inventions we need, things we could use!

Hittingthesweetspot returns to the lighter side with some thoughts on what might cheer us up and make our lives better:

Teleportation! C’mon, does anyone really enjoy airline travel? Beam me the heck up, already! My beta testing phase implementation would include pioneer volunteers from all walks of life that will be considered heroes whether their particle scrambling sees them through it intact or not. You want the next big thing that will boost the economy and provide jobs? Never mind engineering a better iPad. Get Apple’s best and brightest on the teleportation genie. It’ll save the world as we know it. And you could even have TSA to make sure our teleportation travel portals are always safe from bad guys, too. A TSA pat down would be more than worth it, if you could zap my particles all the way from Denver to Louisville in 10 seconds flat.

Adult Cloning! No, I’m not talking X-rated cloning. I’m talking cloning you as you are now. Think of the possibilities…who isn’t tired of going to work, doing something less desirable and wouldn’t send their clone to do their toiling in a heartbeat while we explore new microbreweries?

Force fields! No, not the ones for deflecting nuclear attacks or space aliens. I’m talking about the ones we need when someone starts talking incessantly in your presence about something you don’t want to hear. I’m thinking it’d be like an app on your iPhone or something, where you’d activate your Force field app when Aunt Margaret starts telling you how it was like in school when she was a kid. And the cool feature of the Force field app would be that the person you’re using it on doesn’t know it. You just look up occasionally and nod while their lips are moving, but you’re hearing nothing as the power of the Force field deflects the audio of their inane chatter.

Word processors that prevent people from ever typing they love their jobs or are passionate about their work! The fact is, there are very few of us that have the luxury of doing a job we love. Plus, you are passionate about your significant other, maybe, but definitely not your job. It just behooves you to do it well in order to keep it, get promoted and possibly make a career out of it. For the overwhelming majority of us, our occupations are a means to an end, so stop lying about this! Like many of you, I like to say [insert job title here] is what I do, it’s not who I am.

All night automotive repair facilities! There may be a few out there, but not in my area. I’m a second shift person on my “day” job, but when not trying to make the world a better place through my contributions here, it sure would be nice to drop off my car around midnight for service and have it ready before I go to work the next day.

The return of black letter writing on white background generic items at the grocery store! Yes, I know the quality (for those who can remember) wasn’t always the greatest, but some things like canned pork ‘n’ beans or jalapenos, were just fine most times. Plus, it was kind of simple and soothing to see the non-cluttered, easy-to-read label when perusing the shelves as you traipsed through the aisles. You say they have “store brands” now? Not the same. Bring me back the pleasing, white rectangle box with clear, big, black letters that says SPAGHETTI—it’s just less distracting and clearer, especially when you’re having a “synapses-aren’t-firing-on-all-cylinders” kind of day, or you forgot your glasses.

Secure Internet voting with statistical integrity features that enable the ability to write/type/voice activate in any person by name—but only once! This would effectively end our dumb, not fit for today, two-party, interchangeable candidates political system.  If you want to vote for Richard Weed, let’s say, as your president, you should be allowed to. We have chips in our passports to track us more effectively at all times. Surely, we can bring Internet voting to the forefront no later than 2016.

Jerk radar or detectors! Now this would be pretty cool. I don’t know how it could come to be, whether you’d wear it, hold it, have it implanted or whatever. But the way it would work is you could be walking down the street or hallway, when suddenly you receive notification of an approaching jerk via a sharp, stabbing pain radiating down the length of your spine. You safely steer clear and problem avoided. How wonderful would it be to minimize or completely eliminate, chance encounters with jerks altogether and thus never have your day marked unpleasantly from having engaged a jerk? This is a dream worth making come true.

And finally, because you made it this far and deserve a treat for doing so…

Endless beef jerky! ‘Nuff said.


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