Tag: Yoda

I have big ears.

I got them from making fun of someone with them.

I was supposed to have smaller ears until my mouth provisioned some karma for me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will come back to haunt you…eventually.

The third mask I have is not a Joe Biden or Donald Trump model.

It’s one I like to call the Yoda mask.

After I tried it on the first time my wife said enthusiastically, “Hey Yoda!”

Full disclosure, my talented and beautiful wife made all of the masks I own.

The first one she made was too small to cover my apparently prodigious nose, mouth, and chin.

Plus, the ear straps (are they a thing?) wouldn’t go around my ears; they weren’t long enough.

The second mask fit well and the ear straps were much improved although still not a perfect fit for my big ears.

The main issue I have with the second mask is that the fabric is a little thicker than I would have liked for inhaling and exhaling.

I was informed by my beautiful wife that the fabric was the recommended type as to functionality. Comfort was, evidently, basically at best a secondary consideration.

The third mask sought to be the charm. Everything would come together. I admired my wife’s persistence. She not only would stand by her man, but she would also freely (and unwittingly?) create what would come to be known as the Yoda mask.

Yoda was in a movie I think.

If it was Star Wars or Star Trek or Star This I’m not sure as I was never a huge fan of Star anything franchises.

I’ve endured many Yoda impersonations over the years, though.

Some were better than others and without ever actually watching a full Star anything movie (except for maybe Star Trek 48: The wrath of Khan with Ricardo Montalban as Khan (hey, I was part of the generation that grew up with Ricardo and rich, Corinthian leather on the cathode-ray tube television), I was always hard-pressed to decide what constituted a quality Yoda impersonation.

I remember feigning laughter whenever I indulged whoever was gifting me this unusual talent.

And, I became good at making a fake laugh sound not so fake.

Yoda this. Yoda that. Yada Yada Yoda.

In terms of being in my life regularly, Yoda impersonations thankfully soon faded and my exposure to them became less frequent.

So, it was only natural I grew confident the universe would not have me endure another Yoda impersonation by someone–whether a friend, enemy or family member.

But the universe is a funny, funny thing, kind of like Yoda can be I suppose.

Yoda had big ears.

But I think he was wise.

Why else would there be so many Yoda sayings available online?

Sure, his way of phrasing when he spoke could induce a smile.

But I’m thinking it is the pearls of wisdom that he is most remembered for.

I thought about putting a picture of me here wearing the Yoda mask as one picture is worth a thousand words.

And, while that all may be true, I feel disappointed for all of you who have come to read this far and must be content with merely visualizing the legendary Yoda mask.

When I started this piece I thought my wife may have been being mean when she said, “Hey Yoda” after I put the mask on the first time. But she was not.

I now know in my heart she was simply expressing her admiration and love for Yoda, I mean, me.

Hey Yoda, indeed.

Happy Anniversary, Honey.