Month: July 2020 Page 3 of 4

Much to the delight of Boston Red Sox manager Ron Roenicke, the ballclub is experimenting with pseudo crowd noise to create energy.

I think not having fans at ballgames for the upcoming limited season schedule is just another reason to cancel the season altogether.

Fans at games.

Games with fans.

Without fans, there should be no games.

Whether it brings energy or not, piping in crowd noise is just plain silly.

I think at this point no one cares except those who stand to make money including team owners, players, and coaches.

In most business offices across America, it is still not considered safe for workers other than those considered “essential” to come in and work.

Non-essential workers have been working at home.

Since baseball players can’t work at home, then the season should be canceled outright. At this point baseball is no longer close to being essential for anyone not to mention safe for the players or fans.

Player safety is in question. Many have already tested positive for Coronavirus.

Some have wisely opted out of the shortened season.

I feel bad for the people who work at ballparks and will not be able to bring home a paycheck while Uncle Covid remains at large.

The players, coaches, and owners make a lot of money.

If they can’t take the hit of not playing at all for a season, then let them do as players did in bygone eras when they worked regular jobs during offseasons.

Players in empty ballparks are simply conducting practice sessions. Fake noise, while it may bring energy, does not overcome the fact these glorified exhibitions can never be the same as real games with fans in the stands.

Other uses for fake noise

I personally feel any virtual meeting could benefit from fake noise.

Think of how impact-enhancing it might be if you said something and fake applause followed. In this case, fake applause could possibly be the resource that helps sway a majority in the virtual room to your way of thinking.

At the very least, I think fake applause would be a better filler than real awkward silence.

On all other things fake

Fake dog barking could be a crime deterrent.

Fake laughter can be an awkward silence filler like fake applause.

Diet anything is fake anything. Diet colas come to mind.

Fake smiles can be awkward silence fillers during virtual meetings.

Fake blogs don’t exist; they’re either real or they’re not blogs.

Decaffeinated coffee is fake coffee.

Cold chocolate is fake hot chocolate.

A virtual workout is only not fake if you’re actually doing it and not just watching the instructor perform the exercises.

Fake starving is every time someone says, “They’re starving!”

They’re not starving. They’re just hungry.

Browsing is another way to say you’re fake shopping.

Saying you’re doing laundry is absolutely fake laundry as everybody knows the washing machine and dryer are the perpetrators of clothes washing.

“I have to go over to my friend’s house next Saturday” is simply a fake statement made in order to get you out of a less desirable social engagement.

First of all, you probably have no friends who want to risk having you over for anything like dinner in these days and times.

Secondly, this is also known in political circles as fake excuses–also known as real withholding of truths.

For the rest of us, it all amounts to fake noise.