I’ve become that “guy”…
You know, the one who’s the “neighbor”…
Such is the life of a lifelong renter.
You run across some you’ve mistreated and then there are those who are inconsiderate of you…
Well, everyone’s got problems.
Times are tough, family dynamics are what they are, and folks are struggling everywhere.
I had the benefit of a two-parent household.
Divorce was striking hard in the 60s when I was growing up. Yet, I was able to enjoy both parents being around for my upbringing.
As someone who’s never owned a home, you rent, you deal and you trust your neighbors to treat you kindly, respectfully and with consideration.
I know I wasn’t always the best neighbor as a young man, but I tried to do the right thing. I was raised not to embarrass my family. And so it was imperative to always try and do the right thing, be a good person. It was pretty basic, pretty simple. You just give the benefit of the doubt to someone in crisis, try to be gentle and help.
Such was my conundrum tonight.
If you live long enough you understand hardship, luck, trust and loss.
Life is that way.
Each of us has hardship. We all hope for good luck. We trust that God, a higher power or something, somewhere, that is above us and greater, will lead the way, help us get through times of strife. We trust that it is so. And each of us, if we are fortunate enough to live long enough, knows loss.
Neighbors are a good lesson in life. We each should strive to be good neighbors. Sometimes life gets in the way. We shout. We’re heard. We argue. People judge. It’s not fair, but it’s life. It’s how it is. It’s what it is.
When I was a young man, even though I was aggressive in nature at times, full of boundless energy, when I was out of line, when I was inconsiderate, if reminded by someone I respected, or even if it was someone who pointed out the folly of my behavior, I was receptive; again, trying to live my life in a good spirit, trying to do the right thing, trying not to embarrass my family.
Problem with modern living…
These days, more often than not, there are only broken homes to be found. There is only, if lucky, one parent who is a constant, is around, is there, for their children, sadly enough.
When dealing with neighbors or otherwise, it’s easy to lose sight of history—that is, what led you to arrive at the place you are at? Why are you furious? Have you considered everything?
All I can say is that if someone shows a strong, loving, accepting nature while they walk through life, perhaps that light that radiates when they do confront what needs be, will be enough to save the day.
I saw some tears tonight. The 20 something I confronted didn’t want to fight me after all. He just needed to know I’d treat him fairly, address him with respect and consider as much as I could, about what he’s lived, to this moment.
Be sure and hug your moms while they are with you.
Happy Mother’s Day.
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yvettefrancino
I’m reading a book now called “Nonviolent Communication – A language of life.” It’s about communicating without judgment. It’s not easy! It’s a reminder, like your post, that most people just want to be understood.
Thanks for the Mother’s Day greeting! Hope you have a chance to hug the Moms in your life today.
hittingthesweetspot
You know, and no wonder at all, I think you got this entirely! Sounds like an interesting book. People do seek understanding and are frustrated or happy, accordingly, in their interactions with one another. You’re welcome for the Mom’s Day greeting, Mother Yvette (when was the last time you heard that?), and yes, I hugged my 90 yr. old mom today, too! Best, Bob
AWink
Beautiful words, words reflecting wisdom, experience and guidance for those willing to listen. We have all been there, in the words. You can ‘see yourself’ here, in these words, if you let yourself ‘hear’. An Maybe, if your background is similar enough. If not, well. Then I don’t know….
I know you ‘incompletely’. I think I know your heart but not your life. I’ve heard about it but I don’t know it. If there an ‘innuendo’ of recent experience in these words , I hope they portend to a positive outcome and not otherwise. I take your holiday (mom’s day) greeting and look to pass that goodwill to others as you have clearly strived to do in your life. Thank you. I will hug my mom tomorrow night. Thank you
hittingthesweetspot
Thank you for the compliments. We do know one another and have the history and basis of collaboration and understanding, that sharing the bond of a professional, working relationship brings. We are all human beings and as more and more reading takes place online, I feel fortunate to have a place and chance, here, to strike a common chord of resonance with those who would come here and read. God bless you, your mom, your family and all those close to you, in the true spirit of friendship and closeness, my old colleague and friend. Hopefully we will have that long overdue, musical jam session get together, before too long, too. Be well.