I wonder if the term “this may take a while” is not one of the best messages a developer and/or marketing department ever came up with. “This may take a while” soothes the soul of those waiting for their downloaded software to install. Well, only up until the time when it doesn’t, like when the computer tells you it needs to be restarted in order to complete the installation—“this may take a while” indeed.
A generation that has only known broadband Internet connections and 4G mobile connectivity cannot fully appreciate the saying “wait for it,” either. If you’ve never experienced the flat-out, gut-wrenching beauty of a 9600 baud dial-up modem connection then you’ve really missed out on the true meaning of the words.
“Be patient” are two words that didn’t make the marketing department’s cutoff, either. “Be patient” lacks urgency. “Be patient or feel the wrath of Khan” would have been something I would have suggested instead. This way it doesn’t seem like you have a choice. For if Khan was coming down to kick your inpatient ass, you’d be far more inclined to just patiently wait until the software was loading.
People always find things to be “stupid.” That is, they question why they have to do certain things while on the job. It really grew tiresome hearing co-workers bitch and moan about how something they have to do really would be better served if so and so would do it so their lazy asses could keep surfing the web and checking Facebook pages on the sly.
Bosses today are too busy trying to be everyone’s friend. Not that I recommend the ultimate hard ass as the way to go in terms of a manager, but perhaps something of a hybrid where they can have a softer side yet still bring the wood when it’s required. There’s nothing like the smile that formed on my lips when people were doing things not because they necessarily wanted to, but because it would keep the boss off their back; that’s what bosses do, they occasionally get on your back. It’s the way it is and the way it should be at many places.
Unfortunately some nonsense is prevalent in the corporate workplace where “democracies” are in effect for the purpose of creative productivity. What the hell is that? No good artist in their write (get it?) mind is working in a corporate setting. They know there is no fairness because there are no fair bosses—only the ones who want to be your friend. Call me crazy but I want my bosses to be bosses first and foremost. If they become friends after that, so be it. But, you really need guidelines in order to keep it from becoming a full-blown bromance, which is the worst destination or outcome for the male boss-male worker relationship.
No matter how good a job you do or how many units you’re selling per month, the real bosses of the world still crawl up one side of your back and down the other at some point. It’s for your own good. As an added bonus, people stop acting like weasels when they have bosses that behave like this, too. Fairness and objectivity, while rare in corporate settings, are something to aspire to. Real bosses have no tolerance for back-stabbing, whining, complaining, excuses or bullshit in general—the hallmark of weasels in the wild that is corporate America.
I always wonder why IT departments filter certain sites in corporate settings. It doesn’t make sense to filter the sites they do. I say they should just allow access to every site on the Internet and tell employees that certain sites are considered productivity killers, like Facebook, and should they see anyone using Facebook on company time, they will be given a warning the first time, be written up the second time and dismissed the third—easy peasy—the three strike rule. Not meaning to single out Facebook, I would open the company handbook up to any sites the company considered productivity killers to include porn and gaming sites. Let’s face it, if we want to game in the workplace, there are always a few games already loaded in whatever default configuration of Windows you’re running. Sure, certain of us need the Internet for our jobs and the research we do. But, if it’s clear what sites are off limits, then only job-losing thrill seekers would even try to visit them in the first place.
And finally in the spirit of weekend anticipation everywhere we return to Facebook and the latest news regarding it. Evidently using Facebook too much can make you stupid, er, unfaithful, according to a recent study on stupidity. Wait, the study wasn’t on stupidity directly or generally-speaking, but that excessive Facebook use could lead to infidelity. Well, well, productivity killer and infidelity producer! But I’m not taking much stock in this study or most other studies, for that matter. People are gonna do what people are gonna do. Always have, always will. And much like a bus and the frequency at which they come along, we won’t have to wait very long for the next ridiculous act of self-sabotage to occur.